Simultaneously one of the longest and shortest weeks of my life- hours of lounging with beers and marlboro and gr8 m8's in my hostel home, long walks of the high line and sprawling squares, and almost imaginary nights illegally staking out rooftop bars in Manhattan and underground gigs in smokey Brooklyn basements. I've fallen in love with the place, I've fallen in love with the people (both as individuals, and as the traveller archetype). I want more, but I almost want to never go back, because as S.Coppola so delightfully sums it up, "it could never be this wonderful again".
Maybe I'm over exaggerating due to severe jet lag/ semi-permanent haze of nostalgia/post LA feels- BUT as far as I know so far, every midnight playing pretend as an over-twenty-one in some place I shouldn't be (sorry mum), and every day laughing till your teeth hurt have come together to create one of the most unforgettable experiences I am yet to experience.
Granted, there have still been lots of swollen feet, exasperated sighs, long goodbyes and lengthy moments of dig rustled indecision, but as my first time in the big apple, travelling solo, and experiencing #hostellifelol it's been pretty easy to let them pass. A slightly less joyful experience for example, has been the 24 hour hangover I am currently at the end of. Last night a usual evening drinks progressed into a metal gig in the basement bar and I went full 14 year old boy and thrashed myself until I could barely breathe. Turns out the easiest way to look tough in Brooklyn is by smashing your face into someone else's knee and giving yourself a black eye. Go Rach! Needless to say I was the only girl who decided to mosh with a group of twenty something men, and potentially came out worse, but (!), sweet lord it was amazing haha. We then moved to a club in Brooklyn for a good groove before stumbling home. I am feeling the painful repercussions of throwing your head back and forth so many times it's surprising your neck doesn't break on the spot, and that's certainly no reason to change what went down. But that's a thing that I love: you end up in a stupidly spontaneous environment where everyone is willing to forgive and never forget all the wonderful things you end up doing. You just start nodding, soaking in the vibes of those around you, and saying 'yeah, this is it. This is life'.
I adored seeing time square at night, and crossing Brooklyn Bridge, or seeing Central Park, but all of this would be nothing without the people you meet who make your days. The piss has already been ripped on this one, as in a moment of sentimentality I told everyone I didn't think I'd make 'friends like this', but idc! You gotta let people know when you love 'em. Although I've been told that you will find people like this everywhere in every hostel in the world, these people will always be my first. So thanks. But if any of you are actually reading this I'm kidding, u guys suck lol. ha ha.. (Pls ignore my kind little heart).
That's the thing that's great about hostels; provided that you actually go down for breakfast everyday and stake out your place at a table and get talking then you are bound to find some people and make some plans and end up having a wonderful day (top tip, it's actually kinda cool to plan nothing in advance and not book yourself up so you can do stuff with the people you meet). But just start by saying hello! My first interaction with my soon-to-be squad (yes, I just went there) was an awkward encounter that involved my avoiding eye contact, staring directly into the cup I was carrying and mumbling something about 'familiar accents'. Again I've had enough mocking for this haha. BUT, All it takes is ten seconds of being a weirdo and then there you are, talking to people, laughing with people. Making friends. Ye$ iT is th@t easy!!1! Then all of a sudden you find yourself feeling like the people you've spend the last few days with are the people you've known your whole life. Forced comfort. It's weird like that. But somehow it works. You're connected too, suddenly a mini network has sprung up all around with world with places to stay and people to call, people who actually want you there! A fave memory with my three day clan is taking shots of whiskey and pickle juice in a burger bar. Never will I did that taste from my mouth nor the memories from my mind. Never.
Shout outs to Eilish for being the ultimate hilarious lady friend and experienced traveller helping me navigate this scary world, to Scott, John and John for the most horrific storytime sessions and laughs in a game of Never Have I Ever, and to Joe for having the best laugh if the world. Ah ah ah ah ah 😘
I will finish with this (which tbh is about to be a bunch of thought I have not yet formulated, so forgive me if my marvellous conclusion turns out completely shit). We visited the 9/11 memorial which was completely overwhelming, devastating and surprisingly meaningful given the emotional distance I thought I had from it (I know that sounds odd, but as a seven year old, or any age really, I don't think you grasp the gravity of that type of situation). I would highly, highly recommend a visit to the memorial museum if you're in New York. Of all the things I took from it, one seems to me to be relevant here. The number of scrawled notes, answering machine messages and recorded phone calls to or from the dead expressing real honest love and hope certainly made me reevaluate how scared we are to say we care about one another in the plain light of day. But you just have to. Tell people things, go places, do stuff, bc as shitty as this sounds we really don't know when life will be over, and the world deserves to know how you feel about it. Breathe in every last scent you can and kiss every person on the cheek you meet. Don't get me wrong, don't just be a massive sop, bc ew emotions, and I'm not talking about massive declarations of love bc also, ew love. However, it really did strike me how much people, in there last moments, found it so easy to say how they felt about each other. No wasting breath trying to be anything else but human.
I don't really know where this ended up, but yeah. It's been amazing. New York hit me with everything I never expected and one day at a time the world is teaching me to just be a person again, be a child in wonder. And it feels really really good.
