Post-Wales ft. emotional train journey ramblings

I am having the best time of my life. All things considered, I think that's what this is. Life at its lost and found, lonely wandering best. I am meeting the greatest people and seeing amazing things all over the world. Still I cannot help but have moments where I am overwhelmed by the strangeness of it all. Where am I haha. On the outside. Inside? I don't know, not yet anyway. It's all just the same big ol world, but something about the ground shifting beneath your feet can also throw your mind. I am on a train, in Wales, leaving a place that feels like home, when I've only known its real residents for max four days.

 

To give this a little context, when I was in NY I met a rad welsh lad (shot Joe), who I then tricked into letting me stay with him in Wales for a bit. The last few days has consisted of some sightseeing, a barn dance, all days drinks, a classic welsh barbecue sat out in the cold, very little sleep, and a lot of tired welsh mumbling in vague attempts to break past hangovers and make conversation. I've been stranded on a farm with only male company for four days and it's been fuckin 'ilarious (so welsh lol). And who would of thought I'd ever end up here. 

 

It's the oddest thing to be pulled away from all the people you know and suddenly find yourself having to assimilate to ten different social groups in two weeks. You haven't got the people you care about around you to laugh at your jokes and hold your back. You're no longer playing your own part, but having to learn how to convincingly act others. You're not really you anymore. And I can't decide if what's left is the essence of you, or if it's the surface bc that's the only bit people can see. You're left raw. Intense moments of knowing people, when you don't know them at all. 

 

Taking chances is fun, learning stuff about yourself is fun, even if you don't quite yet understand what you've learnt. I am slowly coming to terms with feeling actual human emotions, attachment, detachment, discomfort, happiness. I am so hungry and I want to cry and neither of that is bad. 

 

So I think that's enough rambling from me... Hope you've all enjoyed more foolish overly personal trash talk direct from my head to the page. T'rah (am I welsh yet??¿?).